“Indulge” Author Valerie Bertinelli

AIRS MONDAY, APRIL 15^TH

MUST INCLUDE TUNE IN

 

 

Photo Credit: The Drew Barrymore Show/Ash Bean     

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Videos:

Valerie & Drew on Finding Self Respect

https://app.cimediacloud.com/r/CHI1ZUYxjnjV

Valerie: You started younger in the business, but the business can really mess with a child’s head. I’m going back to the childhood stuff and working on that.

Drew: Me too.

Valerie: I can't just blame my ex-husband for a toxic, horrible marriage. It’s not his fault. What led me to that? Oh, childhood. That’s the stuff I got to start working on.

Drew: We call it shadow work, what I'm doing. And if you have done any new age stuff, you know, you might hear that inner child. Whatever speaks to you or doesn't, is to go back. And we're a constant work in progress.

Valerie: I've found that I when my gratitude is really placed in even the challenging hard times, that's when the growth really happens as well.

Drew: I also want to say this is the first time in my life where I think, because I would fault myself for so many things that I did, I accepted terrible behavior from others and thought, well, that's what I deserve.

Valerie: Right, like ‘I don't deserve better than that.’

Drew: And for the first time in my life, I'm like, ‘no,’ and it feels so good. And it's because I have self-respect. Because when you beat yourself up, and you beat yourself up to a living pulp all the time, which is what I was doing, you don't stop others from doing it.

Valerie: You start tolerating intolerable things because you're already telling them to.

 

Valerie on Son Wolfie Performing “I’m Just Ken” at the Oscars

https://app.cimediacloud.com/r/0Iw7GrsAbmNa

Drew: Valerie, I could not not bring this up. Your son, Wolfie performed ‘I'm Just Ken.’ He’s the one playing guitar at the Oscars…I mean, talk about proud mom moment.

Valerie: I was in the audience with his wife Andrea, and we were the first ones to jump out of our chairs, right? And we're like screaming and I'm like, ‘Go Wolfie, Go Wolfie!’ in the middle of this auditorium where I was like, ‘God, Martin Scorsese's right there. Robert De Niro is right over there. Jodie Foster is right over there.’ And they're all up and dancing. And I’m like, ‘That’s my boy. That's my boy.’

Ross: It's such a cultural iconic moment.

Valerie: I mean, Ryan Gosling killed it.

Drew: Ryan Gosling is just everything. But seeing Wolfie up there with him, as a mom, I'd be screaming too. I go see my daughter’s ice skating and the other one was playing soccer and I'm the like psycho on the sidelines like, ‘I love it!’ and they're just like…

Valerie: There's pride, and they roll their eyes and then they secretly are like, that's my mom.

Drew: That's exactly it. And I'll take it every time.

 

Valerie on Why She Stopped Drinking

https://app.cimediacloud.com/r/oZcSTGbeqkbR

Ross: You also talked recently about how you had stopped drinking. What made that happen for you? How has that been?

Valerie: I've been doing dry January a few years now. And then, last year I barely drank. And I started again this January, doing dry January. And then February came and went, and I didn't drink, and now March came and went and now we're in April and I'm like, I guess I'm not drinking. And because I have been around people who have struggled with alcoholism, and I know how challenging it is. It is a disease; it is something that is something to overcome.

It's another tool to deny feelings, swash feelings, numb feelings. And that kind of went right there with me. So, I figured, instead of like setting my up myself up for failure, I don't say I'm never going to drink again, but I'm pretty much never going to drink again.

Drew: I know, I always say I'm not sober. I don't work a program. Please don't project, right? I just want to share a thing I did. But for you, I'm trying to make it relatable because we all have something that we overindulge in that we use as an escape that we rely on as a crutch that may not actually serve us. And for anyone just fill in that blank. Mine just happened to be like an alcohol poison situation.

Valerie: It could be gambling, it could be shopping, it could be sex, it could be any of those things.

 

Valerie on Her New Boyfriend Being 10 Years Younger & Meeting on Instagram

https://app.cimediacloud.com/r/jCNXOyqH5BjN

Ross: Have you ever dated younger? And were there any hiccups?

Valerie: Well, it just so happens…It wasn't supposed to happen. No, I was not going to date. I was going to die with my six cats and my dog and be very happy alone. He was not supposed to come into my life and here he is, he's 10 years younger.

Ross: That's good! So, what's he like?

Valerie: He's amazing, he would like to think he's complicated and brooding, but he's thoughtful and kind and ridiculously talented. He's an amazing writer. He's gorgeous, like so hot. He does it for me.

Drew: And that, that is important. I'm realizing now that that is a factor.

Valerie: We all have our type, like he's just hot…He's probably backstage blushing right by the way.

Drew: We have lover in the building. This gives me so much hope. I heard you talking about it the other day and it was unexpected.

Valerie: Totally unexpected.

Ross: Is this true you met on Instagram?

Valerie: I actually started following him on Twitter back in, 2016 or 17. He has a really amazing Twitter following. He's very funny, very acerbic, and political at that time.

Drew: Funny is everything.

Valerie: And I started following him. I was like, ‘There's something about this guy, I got to know more about him.’ I kind of got little butterflies when I followed him and then he didn't follow me back for two years.

Drew: Timing is everything.

Valerie: And then he started DMing me once in a while, and then started following my Instagram account…I followed him first there again. And then he would just DM once in a while just like sweet little nice comments. Nothing pushy…Like really friendly. He didn't want to get involved with anybody either.

Drew: It sounds like the movies like where you're like, I don't wanna meet someone and here we are.

Valerie: And then in the beginning of January, we just started DMing every day. Then we started texting, then we started calling each other, talking for five hours a day and then face timing and then I met him in New York a month ago and I'm just gone.

Drew: Do you think you’ll be bi-coastal? I’m asking for me.

Valerie: Yes, I would love to be here more often.